Tuesday, April 16, 2013

"We don't have answers, we have questions."

I heard that on NPR this morning about Boston. What was trying to be conveyed was that all the options for who and why were just speculation, that they had no concrete evidence yet. It could be Al-Qaeda, an American anti-military group, or just one lone man wanting to hurt a lot of people. Even if we do find out who did this, why they're saying they did this - will we ever really understand?After every man-caused tragedy (whether it be a bombing, a mass shooting, a rape or a murder) I never understand why it happened.

In Steubenville they were drunk, they didn't know any better - those were the reasons I was given. I still don't understand why someone would think what they did to that victim was fun, why someone thought it was okay. The attacks on September 11th in New York City happened because of the presence of US troops in Saudi Arabia, US support of Israel, and sanctions against Iraq is what Bin Laden told us. I still don't understand why almost 3,000 people had to die for him to show us he was upset. And whatever answer they give us for Boston won't be enough for me.

I don't think I will ever be able to comprehend why someone would want to hurt so many people. Because it's not just the people that were there that were affected - their family, their friends, coworkers, Bostonians. It was also me, sitting at home - no ties to Boston at all, watching the blast on the TV over and over on the news. Feeling my heart break a little every time. Watching the people in shock running away and the people running towards to help. Being overwhelmed in the same moment by human cruelness and decency. And whoever did this knows that I'm hurting. They knew there would be cameras and coverage and that this would affect our nation deeply. They fully knew how devastating this would be, that's why they did it. That's why they call it an act of terror; an act done to use extreme fear to intimidate people.

But I won't be intimidated. In the act of all these terrible things that we do to each other, I'm reminded every day to love. I remember that is does not take a lot to be kind to someone. I try to remember that life is fleeting and not to waste it, not to be scared to say "I love you" or the gooey things I'm usually embarrassed to tell my friends. Maybe I'm more sappy these days, but no one I love will ever say that they don't know how I felt about them. In the wake of these acts caused to promote fear, I am scared. Scared I'm not doing enough to help, scared I'm wasting my precious time here and not following my dreams, my purpose for life. But I am not scared for us as a people. We are strong. We are kind and we always step up to help each other when it comes down to it. There may be a few bad apples in our bunch, but we don't have to give into their hatred.

We may not be close to Boston but we can still help someone today. Give blood, volunteer, donate a bag of old clothes, hold the door open for someone. Keep your hearts soft my loves.

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