Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Losing It

Alright Mom and Dad, stop reading now. This post is about sex, pressure from everyone, and disc jockeys. You've been warned.

I was listening to the radio the other day and they were reading a list of celebrities who waited until their 20's to lose their virginity. They applauded Tina Fey who waited until she was 24 because she's been quoted as saying "I couldn't give it away." One of the hosts thanked her for no "pretending" to be saving herself and being honest about the fact that she couldn't get any. Now I understand that you are trying to be a little racy and get people talking about your show (good job guys I'm not going to name); however, they were dismissing the people who waited for marriage, for God, and/or for themselves. Tina Fey is amazing and girl's got jokes. Maybe she was making a joke to make the conversation flow a little quicker.

I know people who are waiting. Whenever sex comes up I hear them take an almost apologetic tone when they say "I'm a virgin". They're nervous for the backlash. Cosmopolitan published an article about 24 Things to Never Say to a Twentysomething Virgin and it's literally all the things I've ever heard said to my virgin friends. Mostly the question is "why?" Which is literally one of the most personal questions you can ask.

Even I get a little quite sometimes when people ask me how old I was when I "lost it". I didn't lose it by the way, I know exactly where it went. I'm not looking for it.
I waited until I was 20. I don't regret anything because that's not my style, but maybe sort of if I had the chance I would probably wait longer. I never thought I would wait until marriage. Honestly, I didn't know specifically what I was waiting for. All I knew is the same thing that I tell people now: You'll know when you're ready. My mom taught me that.

I was dating this older guy; I was 20, he was 26. He didn't pressure me, but somewhere in my head I thought he wanted me to be more "mature". He ended up cheating on me and breaking up with me the very next day. Thru text message. Super mature right? I don't have a romantic story covered with rose petals or a trauma that's full of regret. I have a girl eager to grow up, to prove herself, and the start of a long journey of discovering her self worth.

Does me waiting until I was 20 shock you? Tamara Mowry of Sister Sister waited until she was 29. Will Ferrell waited until he was 21. Olympian Lola Jones is 30 and waiting until marriage. Lisa Kudrow waited until marriage at the age of 32. Are those numbers shocking to you?

To me, what I wish they would've talked about, is Chris Brown who lost it at the age of EIGHT. Maybe they could've mentioned Snooki or Khloe Kardashian who both lost it at 14. Johnny Depp lost his on tour with his band at 13. Are those numbers shocking to you cause I remember 14. I was a freshman in high school, dealing with cliques and boyfriends, tampons and Lip Smackers. The big drama was your crush sitting next to someone else on the bus. I had my first kiss at 14. I was so innocent and that is not a compliant. We also didn't have smart phones or unlimited texting back then so it's a different world now anyway.

Now I'm not trying to shame the teens having sex. I know I wasn't ready when I was 14 is all. And at 25 I can say that I find sex very enjoyable, but you know what I also enjoy? Looking back at high school and remembering all the great times I had with my friends. I was so focused on just being a kid in high scool that I wasn't worried about sex or parties. I figured that's what the rest of my life was for; you can never go back to high school. 

So maybe instead of worrying so much about when people lost it and making that one of the most important things about them, we can just be happy that they're happy. Or not think about it at all. I mean really, why are you so worried about my sex life anyway? 

Until Next Time,
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  1. I loved this post so much! We need more people like you!! Way to go for being truthful and inspiring!