Wednesday, November 26, 2014

People who need people...

Every day I take something for granted. It's not the same thing every day, but every day I fall short. I shouldn't need a holiday to remind me to be thankful and I don't; however, I think it's nice. I think it's nice that once a year we have a day designated for it. All of our lives are different kinds of amazing, but I think we all have a great many things to be thankful for. Simple (to us) things like running water, a sturdy safe structure to live in, a vehicle to get around in, my health, food to eat, shoes, clothes. Now lets get deeper than that.

I am surrounded by people who offer me their unwavering support, love, and kindness. I could make it through anything because of my people. I have always been someone who craves to be alone at times. I take myself on dates; I hide in my bedroom and burrito; Sometimes I just like myself a lot and don't want to share. But most of the time, I'm a person who needs people. I don't want them, I don't crave them, I need them. That's scary to admit because I wish I was able to function by myself. I wish that I could say "I'm grown, I got this," but I don't.

Let's start very abstract and distant from me. I need the people of the world to write articles, blogs, novels, poems, songs, scripts to help me thru my day. They connect me to my pain and also lift me from it. They teach me, let me know it's okay to be happy, sad, or ignorant and hungry for knowledge. They guide me with their words, give me the song to dance to, the movie to cry to, the book to loan to my best friend because it was so trans formative.

I need my coworkers. That's how they started out at least, but over the course of the last eight months so many of them have found their way into my hearts. They guide me, support me, make me laugh. I'm more than blessed to have found this job and these wonderful people.

Daniel has kept me plugged in to the arts and culture community, keeping me up to date on the lastest musical, artist, movie, or book I should know about because I'll love it. He's been my theatre buddy since we were 18, going to the shows my mom wasn't interested in. He was the first person I ever shared my Audrey Hepburn love with. He was in an elevator with SJP once and didn't even ask for a selfie - that's how classy this motherfucker is. He's in NYC, but it makes no difference. He was the first person that taught me that true friendship, true love for a person isn't measured by distance. It doesn't matter how many times you get to see them, if you're true friends you just pick up where you left off.

Abigail is the peanut butter to my jelly. She is the perfect compliment to me. She has taught me how to be well planned and prepared, but also leave room for a little adventure. She's helped me learn it's okay to be proud of your differences and your hobbies, even if no one understands them. She's a fan girl for all of the things I know nothing about and I learn so much from her. She's also living her dream of being a librarian. I've watched her work so hard to achieve this childhood dream and couldn't be prouder. It may be part time, but she is literally living her dream. She has overcome so much and this girl just keeps coming out on top. Her positivity knows no bounds.

Rachael was basically my first mentor. Since we were in 5th grade this girl has been guiding me and teaching me. Through all my crazy dating stories and struggling self esteem, she has always been there to listen. And more importantly, to ensure that I am not crazy for standing up for myself, for knowing what I want and going for it. She's practical, but a hopeless romantic at heart. She always told me that if I was honest with myself and others that it would work out in the end. We've had so many therapy sessions over $5 margaritas at Chilis. I've watched her grow into this amazing woman, a wonderful wife, and the best mother. I'm so lucky to have her paving all these roads before me because I know she will continue to guide me as we both grow.

Leah has taught me what it's like to have a sister. This past year living with her has been more life changing than I could have imagined. We've gone thru so much together: road trips, horrible dates, horrible heartbreak. Thru it all, I found my person. She taught me to share, to sing like no one's listening, to snap chat, to talk the whole way thru a terrible movie, to love dogs even more! She's fiercely loyal, kind-hearted, and constantly teaching me how to be better. She's encouraging of a healthier life style, cheers me on when I work out, but also has ZERO judgement when I eat an obscene amount of chips and dip for dinner. If that isn't pure love, I don't know what is.

Then there's Myke, who I basically tried to push away for the first month I knew him basically. I thought he must be too good to be true. Fourteen months in and I still feel the same way about him - in awe. He's taught me so much - from Bit Coins to puppetry to what being in love feels like. I finally get it now, what all the fuss is about. I was a happy single girl, now I'm the disgusting head over heels, can't stop talking about him, cry when I do girl. I'm pretty obsessed with him. He's like my best friend that I can also kiss any time I want and he doesn't think I'm weird. He can cook any kind of potato, is always encouraging, kind, honest, and he's crazy talented. Plus, have you seen him? He's such a babe. I'm pretty much the luckiest because he also thinks he's the luckiest.... Tricked him good!

I'm thankful for my family. All of them - grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins (especially the twins, but shhh), everyone. This is getting a little lengthy though so I'm going to cut to the pillars of my life.

I'm thankful for my Dad. Ever since I was young, I can remember him creating. He was always playing me music, painting, writing haikus, reading poems, making fires. He was always connected to art and nature. The base simple things in life. He showed me things he made that he didn't like, including meals, but he taught me it was okay to fall short sometimes. As long as you were trying, it was okay. I was luckier than a lot of girls, I had a dad I could count on. He changed countless tires, made me lunches, taught me to walk in the woods without falling into creeks, taught me to be grateful for what I have - to remember the cow when I enjoy the burger. Also, he taught me the importance of a really great card.

Last but not least, I'm thankful for my mom. She's everything. She was my first therapist, cheerleader, and role model all rolled into one. I can't call her my best friend because she's so much more than that. She's the only one I want to talk to when I'm sick and not just because she's a nurse. She was the first person to teach me that it's okay to ask questions and not make me feel dumb for not knowing. She will explain anything over and over until I get it. She was the first one to take me to a musical, to a Broadway show. She instilled a yearning in me for knowledge, travel, arts, culture, real expression. She gets me like at my core. For my 18th birthday she took me to Paris and London. Nothing will ever beat that. She taught me to love where I'm at, geographically, work wise, life wise, but never settle. Because of her I will never assume that I'm done. I know that I am a work in progress, constantly changing, growing. I've seen her get her bachelors, her masters, graduate with honors, and start a new career at 50. A new career as a teacher, how appropriate.

So every day, as I fall short, I never forget to remember my people.
Because I am a person who needs people.

Hope you have a great Thanksgiving! Get a little gushy with your people this weekend :)

Until Next Time,
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