Monday, August 3, 2015

Massages are strange.


From age 25-26, I knocked out four things on my 30 before 30 list and made a huge dent in another two. When I saw a groupon for a 60 minute Swedish massage for $30 I decided it was time to get something else done. When I was younger I always heard about how great massages were but was not comfortable enough in my own skin to go get one. I was worried about how I would, feel, and that the whole experience would just be a wash for me. Now, I'm definitely a-okay with my body and figured we should give it a go! I got fit in at 3:15 on Sunday, only 5 days after calling. The woman who answered let me know this was almost impossible and that I'm a very lucky girl.


Sunday morning I spent the day relaxing, watching movies, and hanging out with Leah and her pup. Before it was time to leave I prepared by taking a shower and shaving my legs - one thing less to stress about while a stranger is touching me.

I showed up about 5 minutes earlier and I was glad because I had to fill out a sheet of paperwork. This paper asked for my basic contact information as well as height and weight. I do not lie about my weight anymore, but I will admit I shielded my paper from the eyes of the old man next to me on the couch in the waiting room. Then it moved on to questions like "Do you exercise and how often?" "Have you ever had a massage?" "Do you have any of these following symptoms right now? (headache, sore muscles, etc)" Then mark on the person outline if you have any "problem areas."

I turned in my assignment and we headed back. Piano music with rain noises played in the dimly lit room. The massage therapist looked over my sheet and asked if I had any questions. I told her this was my first massage ever and wasn't sure what to ask. She told me what to expect and then asked if I ever had any sore spots - my shoulders and lower back. She asked if there was anywhere I didn't want massaged. I said no - go big or go home, I thought. Then she left me to undress - underwear optional, bra not.


I undressed and awkwardly climbed on the table face down. I sat with my elbows propped up because I didn't feel comfortable just laying there with my head in that weird hole pillow. She came back in and covered me completely with the sheet. She rubbed my back and shoulders over the sheet before she peeled it back. She asked if I was happy with the pressure. I was Then she worked from my right side to my left side, spending a lot of time on my shoulders and upper back. When she got to my feet, I started shaking a little and she asked if I was ticklish. I laughed and admitted, yes. She did my top half and then my bottom half. Then I flipped over and she did my shoulders, arms, and legs the top side.

She told me I could chill for a minute on the table before getting dressed and paying (but I had a groupon so tipping). So I hung out for a minute thinking about the experience I just had. I felt relaxed, but off balance - like waking up from an hour long nap. Laying on my stomach for so long was sort of uncomfortable as I do have a bigger chest and my arms felt wonky after a while too. My shoulder blades felt sore already and my hair was a big grease ball. Actually, my whole body just felt oily and gross, but definitely my hair was bothering me the most.

Upon leaving she gave me a bottle of water and instructed me to drink a lot of water to help "release the toxins." I nodded, in a daze not having a clue what that meant. I drank the whole bottle of water in 10 minutes and when I got home drank another big cup. Then, I took a shower. I still felt in a haze afterwards and decided to lay on the couch and watch TV.  I continued drinking water because she said it would help my muscle soreness. I did a lot of research on "toxins" however and didn't find anything. Apparently, no one knows what toxins are released or why water would flush them out.

Side note - If you do know the answers to the toxins, please let me know!

Here's before and after pictures of my massage face. You can clearly see how greasy my hair looks. I didn't take an after in the sunlight because by the time I got home my hair was up in a pony and all I wanted to do was shower.

I slept okay but it was hard to get comfortable because of my shoulders. I woke up this morning and am still drinking lots of water, I mean it's not going to hurt anything. Plus, my lovely instagrammers are telling me that that's what I should do. Apparently massages, especially your first ones, hurt. My shoulder blades are still not having it today. All in all, I'm not sure if I like massages.

Until Next Time,
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