Monday, August 24, 2015

Suck It Up, Butter Cup

Being open to your emotions is exhausting. I used to feel guilty for reacting honestly basically for my entire adolescence. I do not get angry often. I get frustrated, irritated, disappointed, flustered, anxious, but anger - yelling, fighting, stomping tantrums are not my go to. I am a crier. When I feel any of the aforementioned emotions as well as exhaustion, happiness, love, depression, hurt - I cry. I cry at TV shows, but I also tear up at commercials. I cry at sweet notes, videos of puppies, babies taking their first step - I think you get the idea.

When I was younger I was called dramatic, fragile, overemotional, unstable, and was even told I was faking it a few times. I was told to "get over it," "man up," "act my age," and all other sorts of "hide your feelings" talk. Now, please keep in mind, I'm always very conscious of not "causing a scene." Not that this needs an explanation, but I try to keep my tears behind closed doors, in my car, in the bathroom stalls, etc. I have never bust out in tears at work unless I was happy. Most of the time these comments came from people I was trusting with my feelings. That always made it more of a shock because these were people I really loved.

Luckily, these comments and reactions never scared my feelings off. I'm 26 and I still cry a lot. Feelings are not something that we can change or control, they are things in our gut. We don't know where they come from and sometimes they don't make sense even to us. You have to trust yourself when it comes to emotions. What's not okay is ignoring your feelings to make someone else feel more comfortable. What's not okay is someone else telling you how to react. There are no bad feelings, no wrong feelings.

I used to apologize when I cried, tried to stop myself and hold back. Now the only time I hate my tears is when they're angry tears. It's the worst to be so frustrated and crying you sound like a blubbering mess and you know the other person thinks they hurt your feelings, but really you're just trying to stay rational and not say all the mean things and hit them.

I feel like my emotions allow me to be closer to people because I'm honest about them. That is scary for a lot of people. It's still scary for me. I still excuse myself when I cry if I'm not in trusted company, but not from shame anymore. It's because I feel very vulnerable when I'm crying and some people just don't get to see that side of me yet. After the moment passes, a lot of my great stories have crying in them!

Please know that this goes for women AND men. Men, you do not need to be "tough" or "sack up." If you're worried about your woman being "scared off" or losing your "man card" then you might be hanging out with some insensitive folks. You can cry and still be strong manly men. You can cry and still be an strong put together woman. If you can't be completely yourself, express yourself freely - tears and all - no matter your gender - run for the hills. Or come hang out with me!

If you're a "fragile" one like me, don't worry about it. Your body is just reacting to the world around it. Give in to the tears and it feels like a release (for me at least). Give in to the tears and it will be over instead of fighting them and struggling for hours. If you're not a crier, that's cool too. You probably didn't understand any part of my post, but I'm glad you're here! Maybe you know a crier and in that case - just know we can't "help" it.

Until Next Time,
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1 comment:

  1. I cry a lot too and usually feel much better afterwards.