Monday, February 29, 2016

Open Letter to Young Women Seeking Love


Dear Young Women,

It’s not normal for your partner to cheat on you.
It’s not normal for your partner to use your insecurities against you.
It’s not normal for your partner to only care about you when sexual activity is involved.
It’s not normal for your partner to threaten to break up with you.
It’s not normal for your partner to ignore you when you’re talking to him.
It’s not normal for your partner to hide where he’s going or who he’s with.
It’s not normal for your partner to shove you when he’s angry.
It’s not normal for your partner to discourage you from success.
It’s not normal for your partner to call you names when you’re fighting.
It’s not normal for your partner to demand your passwords or to look through your phone, journal or private messages.
It’s not normal for your partner to have to talk you into doing things with him sexually.

Sending you flowers does not make calling you a bitch okay. Texting you “good morning beautiful” every day does not justify him hitting on your best friend. Holding your hand in public does not mean he can belittle you in private. Apologizing does not mean he can cheat on you as many times as he wants. It is not okay for him to hurt you physically or emotionally, just because he says he won’t do it again. This is toxic love.

You do not have to go through a “rough patch” to get to your happily ever after. You do not have to have drama in order to be in love. Every time he gets away with treating you like you're less than him, he feels more in control. Every time you think “it was only one time" or "maybe this time he'll change,” he’s thinking he's got you. That’s what he wants you to think, so you’ll stay in his grasp. You have to trust yourself. If you feel uncomfortable about how he’s treating you, say something. He should care about how you feel. It is not normal for your partner to make you feel unloved or unworthy. It is not normal to constantly worry about the state of your relationship.

When you’re young love may seem unattainable, but you do not have to settle for some shit head. Toxic love will ruin you. It is never too late or too soon to get out of this type of relationship. Don't stay because you've "already invested this much time" or because you're scared you won't find anyone better. Think of how long you’ve been alive – maybe 20 years? Think of how long there is left to live – maybe 60 more? That’s three times longer than you’ve ever lived with the same shit head making you feel insecure and unhappy. Think about how many people you’ve ever met in your whole life. There are over 7 billion people in the world. You will never come close to meeting all of them, but with so many choices – why stay with toxic love? You deserve better than toxic love.

(I’m going off of my own experiences so this is addressed to young women about men, but is valid no matter your gender or sexual preference.)

Until Next Time,
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Thursday, February 25, 2016

Unlikely Role Model: Paris Hilton

Last week on February 17, Paris Hilton turned 35. The blonde, baby voiced, superficial Barbie doll who no one ever took seriously is now better described as a very successful and hot business woman. She has always maintained that she was portraying a character onscreen as the vapid socialite. Quietly, if you're not a Little Hilton, she has building her own empire that has nothing to do with her Hilton hotel namesake.

I first heard about Paris in 2003, after she named New York City's "it" girl and her sex tape was made public. Not three weeks later, I was watching her and BFF Nicole Richie in "The Simple Life." Their show lasted for 5 seasons. She's the first person I can remember being called a "socialite" and someone who was famous for being famous. The concept was completely new to the world.

When she was arrested in 2006 and 2007, her mugshot was on the cover of all the magazines at the checkout stand. She spent 23 days in jail. When she was released, she stated a newfound focus for her life. She likes to party, but that's only one facet of her personality. She soon after released a clothing line for dogs, Little Lily. In 2008, she returned to the world of reality TV with "Paris Hilton's My New BFF." This year MTV also debuted an hour long documentary on her titled "Paris, Not France." Two seasons of My New BFF were set in the USA, one in the UK, and one in Dubai. She was later arrested for drug charges, but did not go to jail. For about six years she was continuously in tabloids for shopping, partying, and, as they put it, being an airhead. Then she just wasn't. If you grew in the years of Paris, you'll remember the sudden drop off of coverage. In 2009, CNN ran an article asking "Why has Paris Hilton disappeared?" Honestly, since then she's been in the tabloids a bit, but maybe once or twice a year.

You may not see Paris in the tabloids as much as you did in the 2000's, but she has not slowed down. While Paris' brand may not have always been in her control, once she gained the business savvy she needed, she started taking over the brand. It's always been very important for her to feel independent.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

The Duluth Experience - History Tour

For Valentine's Day Myke and I did something a little different this year. We went on a history tour with The Duluth Experience. The Extended Bus Tour includes admission the Glensheen Mansion and the Lake Superior Railroad Museum at Duluth Depot. The four hour tours run from 10-2 pm with water and snacks provided. Our driver, Kyle, and our tour guide, Nick were not only super knowledgeable about Duluth, but were passionate about answering our questions and very accommodating. The tour could be slightly different for everyone that takes because a lot of their commentary is based on the questions that we asked.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Guest Blog - 7 Steps To Self-Love on Valentine's Day

Today on the blog, I would like to introduce Fran. I first connected with her on Instagram where she is a body positive warrior. In preperation for this Valentine's Day, she explores how to self love which is so important no matter what you're relationship status. If you'd like to find Fran you can find her on Instagram @franhayden or follow her on Twitter @frannnh and say hello! You can also click HERE to read more of her writing on body positivity and self love.

7 STEPS TO SELF-LOVE ON VALENTINE'S DAY

The abundance of teddy bears, sickly sweet aromas and general rosiness of your local high street can only mean one thing - Valentine's Day is creeping up on us once more. Many of us have mixed feelings about this day, but if there's one thing you do this Valentine's Day (whether you're single or in a relationship) make sure that you remember to love yourself. Want to know how you can practice a little self-love? Here are my top tips to cultivate some self-loving goodness:

TREAT YOURSELF

We are conditioned to believe that self-indulgence is a negative thing, that if we do something to make ourselves happy then we are somehow putting someone else's nose out of joint - but why is this so? Nothing has explicitly taught us that buying things for ourselves or spending time pampering our bodies is wrong, yet we still live by these rules - so why not break them? Sure we've all got bills to pay and we might not be able to splash the cash, but there are other ways that you can indulge in a bit of TLC. Valentine's Day is as good a time as any to run yourself that bubble bath, or treat yourself to a massage, or rest, or read - or all of the above. Whatever it is that you want to do, then do it.

BE PATIENT

The habits that we have formed are often difficult to break and if we don't succeed we tend to scold ourselves until we are mentally battered. But it's times like this that we need to be patient with our minds and souls - people fail, we slip up and we make mistakes, but that doesn't mean that it has to be the end of our dedication to achieve. Find an inner patience, if you do screw up, then recognise that you've done so, file it away in your mind and get back up to carry on meandering through your life.

ACKNOWLEDGE

Learn to acknowledge the things that you want and need, learn to acknowledge when you're happy and when you're not, learn to recognise when you need to take a moment, or when you need to be in the moment. We are often so blindsided by the things that happen in our lives that we are simply existing from one second to the next without acknowledging the things that are happening around or within us. Take a pause in your day, week, month to recollect, recognise and acknowledge how you're feeling and what you want or need in your life.

GET TO KNOW YOURSELF

How many of us can say that we truly know ourselves? Isn't it about time that we started? We live in our minds and skin with no restbite and the way that we feel is often dictated by society and those who we choose to spend time with - indefinitely, our minds end up being a whirlwind of emotion. It's so important to know yourself - to know what drives you, what your likes and dislikes are, what makes you laugh or cry and what makes your heart go wild. Allow yourself the luxury that we rarely afford ourselves of getting to know yourself.

DO SOMETHING YOU LOVE

There is little else that can satisfy, than doing something that you love. We all have our hobbies - yoga, baking, surfing, painting, running, reading, hell even stamp collecting - so why don't you indulge in something that you love? Why? Because it'll make you happy and you deserve it.

LOVE

Where matters of the heart are concerned, many of us can't say that we haven't been hurt. As a result of this, we tend to learn from our mistakes and avoid these kinds of lovey-dovey situations - but you need to re-learn to love. Love is a trickly business, but it isn't just reserved for romantics, love can mean so much more than who you're going to spend your life with and self-love should come at the very top of that list. Love your partner, your family, your friends, your pets - but most of all, learn to cultivate a sense of self-love.

KEEP FIGHTING

Do not give up on yourself, keep your head held high, a smile on your face and keep fighting that good fight - whatever that may be.

Monday, February 8, 2016

Guest Blog - Valentine's Day Night Out

Today on the blog, I'd like to introduce Kyri. She is a 10th grade English teacher who is married to a chef. In her guest post she's explores what it's like to be taken, yet alone on Valentine's Day (and Burlesque!). If you'd like to connect more with Kyri, you can check out her blog HERE and follow her on twitter @landmermaids.

Valentine's Day is a day made for people in love and people celebrating NOT being in love. But what about the people in love who don't get to be with their significant others? We as a group are forgotten. And that's sad.
This is what my face looks like.
This is what my face looks like.
This is the 5th Valentine's Day that my husband and I will NOT spend together. When you marry a person in the service industry nobody tells you that there is a high probability that you will spend a majority of all holidays ALONE.
The bright side of this is that you get to choose how you spend all your holidays. If you want to spend Christmas eve stuffing your face with candy and binge watching every claymation Christmas movie in existence you totally can.
The down side of this is that I have to spend the day of love without my love. However you can't really hang out with your single friends because they're all super excited about being single or super depressed about it. Either way it's not much fun to hang out with them.
So I make my own plans. This year I am going to enjoy boobs.
A few months ago I took a beginner's burlesque class taught by Adele Wolf and I caught the bug. Burlesque is the best thing.
Dita Von Teese
Dita Von Teese
I love the body positive message that burlesque supports. Burlesque performers are all shapes and sizes. One of the things I love about Adele Wolf's shows is that there is always a performer who I can look at and say "I have that body": the cellulite dimples, the belly rolls, the less than perfect breasts. But even though there are people who are terrified of putting their bodies on display these people (women AND men) get up there and smile and OWN IT!
Queen
Queen
Burlesque is so accessible and lovely. It's the best show out there. The sparkles, the lipstick, the music, the costumes, it's like 2 hours of an alternate universe where everyone accepts their body and loves it deeply.
I encourage everyone to see a burlesque show. If you're in the Oklahoma City area the best one by far is Adele Wolf's Burlesque and Variety Show.
flyer
If you're looking to learn more about Burlesque here are some resources that I have found entertaining and helpful.
 
A Wink and a Smile - a documentary following some Regular Janes as they explore their sexuality and confidence through Miss Indigo Blue's Beginner's Burlesque class. This documentary is a great example of the accessibility of burlesque. ANYONE can do burlesque: for a crowd, a SO, or just yourself. You can watch this for free if you have Amazon Prime.
 
Behind the Burly Q: The Story of Burlesque in America by Leslie Zemeckis
This informative book  really digs into the history of burlesque (which is hella interesting). I really enjoyed it, and I'm not a huge non-fiction reader.

There's also a wonderful documentary connected with the book featuring so many burlesque legends. This one is a little harder to watch. You can buy the DVD or get a subscription to Sundance Doc through Amazon and watch it for free.

So on Saturday night I am going to lace myself into a red corset, put on some red lipstick and watch some of the greatest performers in Oklahoma ooze confidence and sex.
tf40124

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Moving to Minnesota - 2 Month Picture Update


Monday, February 1, 2016

January Favorites



Stowaway Lipsticks
I got this is a PopSugar Must Have box and it's probably the best thing they've ever sent me. The trio has Cranberry, Mulberry, and Raspberry and they're all rich, creamy, and well pigmented!

Brooklyn
If you read my newsletter, you know how much this movie touched me. It talks about love and homesickness, which is so relevant to me right now.

 
Neko Atsume
This stupid cat collecting game. My only complaint is that I can't expand my yard more than once. I'm going to need all the cats in my yard at one time. But that will never be possible and I'm sad about it.

Chocolate covered sunflower seeds
We got a butt load of these on sale at Holiday, a gas station, for 50 cents each! They've been one of my favorite candies for a couple of years, but I never want to spend the $3 for them.

Vaseline
My winter do it all. It keeps my skin hydrated, it soothes itchy or red skin, it keeps my lips unchapped, and it helps my nose and cupid's bow from all the tissues rubbing against them.


The New Barbie Image Campaign
I have so much to say about this, I wrote a blog about it.

Until Next Time,
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