Monday, February 29, 2016

Open Letter to Young Women Seeking Love


Dear Young Women,

It’s not normal for your partner to cheat on you.
It’s not normal for your partner to use your insecurities against you.
It’s not normal for your partner to only care about you when sexual activity is involved.
It’s not normal for your partner to threaten to break up with you.
It’s not normal for your partner to ignore you when you’re talking to him.
It’s not normal for your partner to hide where he’s going or who he’s with.
It’s not normal for your partner to shove you when he’s angry.
It’s not normal for your partner to discourage you from success.
It’s not normal for your partner to call you names when you’re fighting.
It’s not normal for your partner to demand your passwords or to look through your phone, journal or private messages.
It’s not normal for your partner to have to talk you into doing things with him sexually.

Sending you flowers does not make calling you a bitch okay. Texting you “good morning beautiful” every day does not justify him hitting on your best friend. Holding your hand in public does not mean he can belittle you in private. Apologizing does not mean he can cheat on you as many times as he wants. It is not okay for him to hurt you physically or emotionally, just because he says he won’t do it again. This is toxic love.

You do not have to go through a “rough patch” to get to your happily ever after. You do not have to have drama in order to be in love. Every time he gets away with treating you like you're less than him, he feels more in control. Every time you think “it was only one time" or "maybe this time he'll change,” he’s thinking he's got you. That’s what he wants you to think, so you’ll stay in his grasp. You have to trust yourself. If you feel uncomfortable about how he’s treating you, say something. He should care about how you feel. It is not normal for your partner to make you feel unloved or unworthy. It is not normal to constantly worry about the state of your relationship.

When you’re young love may seem unattainable, but you do not have to settle for some shit head. Toxic love will ruin you. It is never too late or too soon to get out of this type of relationship. Don't stay because you've "already invested this much time" or because you're scared you won't find anyone better. Think of how long you’ve been alive – maybe 20 years? Think of how long there is left to live – maybe 60 more? That’s three times longer than you’ve ever lived with the same shit head making you feel insecure and unhappy. Think about how many people you’ve ever met in your whole life. There are over 7 billion people in the world. You will never come close to meeting all of them, but with so many choices – why stay with toxic love? You deserve better than toxic love.

(I’m going off of my own experiences so this is addressed to young women about men, but is valid no matter your gender or sexual preference.)

Until Next Time,
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