when it feels pretentious to even call it imposter syndrome bc you are actually an imposter

I think so often that I don’t know what I’m doing anymore I’m so many different ways. I want to write more, I think. But maybe I would be better served writing in my journal. Try keeping it to myself. I don’t read what other people write consistently. Not for lack of desire but for overwhelming choices. Too much to listen to, watch, read, television, podcasts, articles, there’s literally not enough time. I feel like Instagram is the one place I keep up with my besties the best, but even then I know there are things I miss because I've found them. I like this blog because it's the format I know and Myke bought my url for me. I don't know how to find other people's things to read. I don't even know where to put myself out there even if I'm willing to figure out the how. What is easy some days, I have lots to say. The always nagging why. Everything has been said before so why say it again because sometimes my voice is the first time you've heard it or gave it a chance. I can argue both sides of any topic, the devil's advocate, the people pleaser. I saw a tik tok of this woman that said something about not wasting any time doubting herself anymore because life is short. A sentiment I've heard often in my life, but something on the day I heard it coming from a mouth younger than mine stuck with me different. When I thought of the idea afterwards, even now, I keep coming back to : good for her; she's going to waste a lot less time moving forward. And why not that for me too? Why not say the things I want to say, share whatever I feel like it, just do things for me, and not worry so much waste so much time. I want to live by my own advice : "don't limit yourself by who you think you are or should be, just do what feels right."


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